Lost....

i feel like pressing my keyboard non stop as to release all my frustration inside of me right nao...ok i don't have the courage to! it's not something nice to share anyway. i feel so miserable so frus so sad so angry! everything bad that you can think of now. if i have plane right nao i'll definitely fly to Bali...or Rome...or Paris! Venice!! no...-.- i won't be able to do that alone wtf! yes i'm such useless. if i am a billionaire right nao i will shop till....err...till my heart tells me to stop. (since i won't be broke cos i'm a billionaire wtf!) if i really am a billionaire will i still be upset bout all these shits? -.- i'm full of imaginations. i mean who doesn't want to be like Salt? right? but i just don't have the potential to! i'm a 21 years old young lady yet i am a like a 3 years old kid to some others and i'm even starting to feel myself like one. grrr i'm mad at myself! this month has been a fucked up month...late payment, got to drop one unit and take it back during summer.means no holidays!! both loans not approved fml! relationship sucks max what's more to come? sigh...i did pray to God mayb i was lazy to do it every night that's why He refused to listen to me... :(

i don't know what to type anymore wtf!

i am not happy that's it!

埋怨vs感恩

心情不好。。。感觉两个人都在逞强又装坚强结果就搞到两个人都不开心，心里放着一块石头两人都不愿意先开口解开。。。刚刚在想其实我们这样是为了什么啊。。那块石头弄得我透不过气，这样值得吗。。。

刚刚参加了小住，领悟到了神的话语，分享了自己的经历，感觉好舒服，透过上帝的话语让我发现这么久以来自己一直都在小小事务上埋怨，就好比刚刚，埋怨dear为什么明明就一个星期只能见一次但就偏偏要工作。。。但现在我想感恩至少他星期六选者下来陪我还说星期日陪了我吃早餐才上去。。。

埋怨他为什么要一直生气还要假装没事把关系弄得很疆。。。但从另个角度想，他也是在关心我，要我学习成长。发现自己也是一样，自己该踏出第一步来打开心结。。。所以要感恩我们还是在努力的坚持着。。。 =)

埋怨他只顾着打game少了时间陪我。。但，想想这是他的爱好啊。。我不喜欢被住址做自己喜欢做的事，所以我也没权利住址他。。。还是感谢他会抽时间来跟我说话。。。（但要和game谈恋爱似乎有点过分耶。。。-.- 不要我啦？？）

唉。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。不写了。。。我想感恩这个课题还需要些时间来领悟。。。